Instructions for Televangelists: Open Mouth, then Insert Foot

Instructions for Televangelists

Open Mouth, then Insert Foot

By David Ryser

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.  (Seen on a church sign)

I appreciate televangelists.  Really.  I do.  In the circus called the Church, televangelists are the clowns.  And I like clowns.  I find them amusing.  The antics of clowns are entertaining and great fun.

But we must never take clowns seriously.

Likewise, I find the buffoonery of televangelists to be wildly entertaining.  I am constantly amazed by the silliness that pours out of their mouths.  They are the comic relief of North American Christianity.  And I greatly enjoy their antics…as long as I remind myself that they are clowns.

But when I take them seriously, I become alarmed.

For example, I found myself shaking my head in disbelief a few years ago over comments made by a televangelist who is noted for shooting off his mouth and blowing off his spiritual foot in the process.  He was commenting on the devastation in New Orleans following hurricane Katrina.  He stated that this natural disaster was the result of that city’s wickedness, citing the examples of Sodom and Gomorrah…and their destruction by God.

As I said, these clowns can be wildly entertaining.

Because I read.  I read news stories.  And I read the Bible.  And both help me put the ravings of these spiritual buffoons into perspective.  And that’s an important part of enabling me to enjoy the religious circus.

Shortly after the hurricane-induced tragedy in New Orleans, I ran across a news story that quoted comments made by a Muslim imam.  This imam stated that God had punished New Orleans with the hurricane because of its wickedness.

Does this sound familiar?

This imam’s words were virtually identical to those spoken by the televangelist.  Although these two religious spokesmen worship a different God (I hope), they had come to the same conclusion.

I especially enjoy the part of the clown act where the clowns whack each other with plastic mallets.  Don’t you?

And while the Bible does speak of God’s judgment upon people, cities, and nations; it also has a lot to say about what our attitude as God’s people should be in these matters.  In Luke 9:54, James and John ask Jesus if He wants them to call fire down from heaven upon some Samaritans who rejected His ministry.  We think of John as the apostle of love, but we forget that Jesus had named him and his brother the “Sons of Thunder.”

Somehow, I am disinclined to think this moniker was the result of their quiet and gentle demeanor.

Their offer to turn the enemies of Jesus into crispy critters earned the Thunder-stick Twins a sharp rebuke from Jesus.  Among other things, He stated that they did not know what kind of spirit was motivating their request (Luke 9:55, 56).

I suspect it was not the Spirit of Jesus.  And I also suspect that it is not the Spirit of God motivating us when we gleefully announce (or pronounce) God’s judgment on “those wicked people.”

Were the people of New Orleans more wicked than other people and thus more deserving of God’s judgment?  I doubt it.  Jesus’ comments on the news stories of His day seem to indicate He doubted it also.  Referring to a mass execution (Luke 13:2) and a tower collapse (Luke 13:4), Jesus clearly states these tragedies did not occur because those suffering them were worse sinners than anyone else (Luke 13:3, 5).

When asked whether a man who had been born blind was being punished because of his sin or the sin of his parents (a hot theological topic of that day), Jesus responded that his malady was caused by neither…and then healed him (John 9:1-7).

And let us not forget that one reason Israel rejected the warning of the prophets concerning the coming judgment of God upon their nation was because the prophets predicted God would judge Israel by a nation that was even more wicked than they were.

Unthinkable!

So did hurricane Katrina devastate New Orleans because the people there were more wicked than those in, say, Las Vegas?  Or San Francisco?  Or your favorite bastion of ungodliness?

Maybe….

Or it could be that people decided to build a city below sea level.  In hurricane territory.  And then they opted to neglect their levees and allow them to deteriorate.  And then the state and local authorities responded to the disaster with incompetence and ineptitude on a truly staggering scale.

Why do religious people insist upon interpreting the stupidity of man as the judgment of God?

And why do Christians take as gospel the comments of a televangelist that are identical to those made by a Muslim imam?  It truly boggles the mind.

But that’s the circus, after all.  It is larger-than-life entertainment that captures our attention on a grand scale.  Including the clowns.  Their antics are an over-the-top caricature of life that tickles our funny bone with their pure outrageousness.

I don’t know about you; but when the clown gets his pants set on fire and attempts to put it out by rubbing his butt on the ground, I find that absolutely hysterical.

It’s sort of like watching Christian television.

Responses to this article are welcomed.  You may contact the author at drdave1545@yahoo.com