The Empty Theater: Playing to an Audience of One

By David Ryser

            See, when you’re a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you’ve got an expiration date. One day you’re hot stuff and the next day you’re a dirt sandwich.  (Jeff Kinney)

“Look at me!  Look at me!”  What is it about young children that causes them to clamor for attention?  Children seem to need attention desperately.  I’ve known some of them to misbehave simply to get attention…the kind of attention that any rational human being would seek to avoid.  I can only conclude that attention is like any other form of publicity.

I’m told there is no such thing as bad publicity.

Children…and some religious professionals…crave attention.  They have a need to be seen.  They have a need to be heard.  They have a need to be acknowledged as important.

In short, children need to be valued by someone…by anyone.  So do adults.  And one of the most common ways that we measure our self-worth is by how many people pay attention to us.

So we pursue attention.  We prefer positive attention.  But we will settle for negative attention if we must.

And the more attention the better.  The more people who see us, the better.  The more people who hear us, the better.  The more people who attend our church….

Well, you get the idea.

The problem with using fame as a means to measure our value is that fame is fleeting.  One day we are the center of attention.  The next day, we are yesterday’s news.  If you want to know just how easily you can be forgotten…and how quickly...simply become a religious professional.

And then leave the ministry.

Of course, this dynamic applies to everyday life as well.  We seek to be valued and admired by all kinds of people…spouses, other loved ones, employers, co-workers…even by people we don’t know.

If we are noticed, we believe we have value.  If we are ignored, we feel worthless.

This can be quite a roller-coaster, mentally and emotionally.  Life is full of these ups-and-downs.  Even Jesus was not immune to this reality of life.  He experienced anonymity in His early life.  He experienced fame later in His life.  He was well-received.  He was rejected.  His message and ministry were enthusiastically accepted.  His message and ministry were opposed.  He preached to large crowds.  He had hundreds of disciples.  His preaching also caused all of these disciples…except twelve…to leave Him.

And even those twelve abandoned Him when He needed them the most.

Reading the gospels, I am struck by how Jesus behaved in the good times and the bad times.  He didn’t seem to be influenced by how popular He was…or how unpopular.  He remained steady when He was opposed, and even slandered.  He did not seek fame or approval…with one notable exception…and did not fear disapproval and rejection.

So what was the exception?

Throughout His life and ministry, Jesus was concerned only with the approval of His Father.  He ministered by doing only what He saw the Father doing and saying only what He heard the Father saying.  He was unmoved by the approval or disapproval of people, but was very responsive to the Father’s pleasure.

Jesus played to an audience of One.

Jesus heard the applause of the Father when the crowds accepted Him.  Jesus heard the Father’s applause when the crowds rejected Him.  The religious leaders and religious people never did accept Him (there’s a lesson in this, I think).  Jesus even heard the applause of the Father when His closest friends abandoned Him.

So what about us?

Do we hear the Father’s applause?  Do we go about our daily lives in tune with what the Father is doing and saying…and how He is responding to what we are doing and saying?  No matter what is happening around us?  No matter what people are saying about us?  Whether or not people are paying attention to us?  Whether or not people are approving of us?

And if not, then why not?

I’ve given this quite a bit of thought because for the longest time I suffered from a peculiar form of Attention Deficit Disorder.  Specifically, I felt I wasn’t getting enough attention from people…a deficit of attention…and strived mightily to get it.  When anyone suggested to me that I should seek to satisfy my need for attention and sense of being valued from God, the religious part of me would acknowledge that I ought to do so.  But I was always unable to pull it off.

Why?

My problem boiled down to my lack of knowing God and the failure of the religious system to teach me how to know Him.  In fairness, it was foolish of me to expect my religious leaders to teach me how to know and love God.  They had no more idea of how to know and love God than I did.  I believe most of them wanted to know and love Him.  So did I.  But God wasn’t real to us.  None of us had experienced Him…His presence in a real and tangible way…enough to connect with Him, much less be intimate with Him.  So we would acknowledge that we needed to get our sense of self-worth from God and for His approval to be enough for us, but experienced neither.

How can we play to an audience of One without any awareness of His presence in the theater?

We can’t.  It was not until I experienced God’s presence and began to walk in an intimate relationship with Him…and became secure and confident in that relationship…that I was able to live for His pleasure alone, not moved by the opinions and the approval/disapproval of others.  Now I am able to hear Him when the theater is full and when it is empty.  I have learned to play to an audience of One.

And that has made all the difference. 

Responses to this article are welcomed.  You may contact the author at drdave1545@yahoo.com